high noon

by: poppyseed

Sat Oct 10, 2009 at 07:00:00 AM PDT

so rule number one is trust no one. and i never seem to learn that.

(names are changed, of course)

i'd only been volunteering for a few months on skid row and already the crackdown had made a huge difference. there was gentrification going on in little tokyo and the police had been handing out tickets for jaywalking and loitering, resulting in fines that couldn't be paid and jail sentances for most of my patients. while in the beginning i could walk through a tent village perched unsteadily across an open sewer in the middle of the street, now the tents had been confiscated, along with all the stuff in them, and my patients were starting to get out of jail.

i had favorites and the queen of them all was camilla. she was beautiful and tragic, stuck in an abusive marriage, nearly out of teeth from the crack, but gentle, forgiving, and kind. she was kind of a community leader in that little one block area, bringing me people who needed a doctor but distrusted us as a group, vouching for me. she had pride and i never saw her high except once and she wasn't expecting me.

she'd been sick for a week when i sent her to the big free clinic around the corner for a chest x-ray and better antibiotics than i could provide. it would be the last time i'd do that-- they turned her away, they were already booked for the day, and she spent the weekend on the sidewalk with no chest x-ray and only my pills to get by on. but she didn't show up the next clinic day. so i went looking for her.

i found her in the middle of the park across the street, high. it was friday noon and i hadn't really expected to find her, as she generally attended noon prayer at the mosque downtown. but there she was, confused and ashamed, coughing and sweating in the middle of the park. and i held her for a long time, trying to cry quietly so she wouldn't feel it, rocking her back and forth in the middle of the park.

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"Health is Dignity and Dignity is Resistance"

What is health justice? How are health & human rights fiercely connected to the wellness of our neighborhoods? How do we reframe policy debates? How do we continue dreaming and building instead of just reacting & surviving? And how do we support each other in our healing?

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